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Mastering Your Mistakes Print E-mail


OK, OK, we all know you're cool and suavebut we also know you're going to make some mistakes. This is new territory, by definition, and you are not an expert but an experimenter. Keep that fact firmly in mind, and don't sweat the small stuff. A mistake is very small stuff; it simply gives you a chance to try again. Correcting a mistake can lead to better places with people than if you do it right the first time. Everyone admires you when you can take responsibility for whatever you did wrong or neglected to do right. "I'm sorry, I know I should have called sooner, but it took me a while to get the nerve up" is far more endearing and impressive than a lot of denial and excuses.

It also provides you with an opportunity to continue the relationship, while giving up in self-disgust or self-criticism ends it. Finally, acknowledging your mistakes lets the other person know that you are capable of admitting an error and working out a mutual solution, which is not a bad quality for a potential "steady" to have.

Advice from experienced friends is greatjust make sure it's the right kind of experience. Seek out friends who have succeeded in dating the way you want tonot the ones who have created disasters for themselves. Just as you wouldn't ask someone with a DUI for driving lessons, don't ask a relationship disaster expert for advice.

If the mistake is more serious, like drinking too much and driving, or really hurting someone's feelings or insulting them (intentionally or unintentionally), or getting caught in some kind of lie, then you're going to have to confront yourself. Your behavior, and perhaps your thinking process, needs adjustment. If you can't make the adjustment by yourself, call on your support team for help or referrals to experts.


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