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Myths, Part 2 Print E-mail


Myth #2: You only get to love one person in a lifetime

In this day of a 50% divorce rate, it's getting harder to believe there can only be one person in the world for you, but the myth still persists. There are lots of songs, poems, and movies about the "one true love" you "can't survive without."

Anyone who has loved someone for a long time and then lost them naturally feels that there's no way they can be replaced. Of course, no one who is dear to you and now gone can exactly be replaced. There are many ways to love people, and a number of people you can love. Just as you can love various members of your family differently, and just as you can care deeply about several dear friends, in different ways, so you can also find more than one person who is compatible enough to fall in love with and create a workable relationship.

As much as you loved your last partner, you may be surprised to find that a new person has attributes and qualities you really enjoy; things you never knew were missing before.

It's fortunate that we are able to love more than one person, because it's so easy to be attracted to someone with severe problems. The point of dating is to find several people who are attractive to you, so you can sort through their character traits and foibles, until you find someone who is not only attractive, but also healthy for you.

Myth #3: Dating is only for the young

You can hear the age myth stated by people from 25 years old to advanced senior citizenhood. It's never too late to meet a mate.

If you ask your friends, co-workers, and family members, you'll hear many more stories of people who met and fell in love at advanced ages. It's obvious from these stories that age does not have to hold you back from meeting someone to love.

It's true that when you're a teenager, an age difference of 10 or more years makes a vast difference in your experience and your outlook on life. Such a difference can interfere with communication, life goals, outlook, and relationship experience. In addition, the social reaction to such a relationship is often very negative. If one partner is underage, a sexual relationship is even against the law.

But, as we get older, our life experiences and emotional growth even things out. A ten-year or more difference in your ages makes little difference in how well you can conduct your relationship.

Don't focus on an arbitrary numbers difference in your ages. If you are getting along, have good communication and problem-solving, and love each other, that's a precious thing, and far more important than any age difference could be. And if other people have a problem with it, let it be their problem.


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