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Pros and Cons of Staying Single Print E-mail


Here are some of the advantages of staying single:

Keeping "change" to a minimum. There are already enough changes for your children to adjust to. Keeping your own home and lifestyle the same may help kids have a "constant" in their personal world. That consistency may reassure and help them.

Becoming mature sooner. Sometimes the presence of a relationship allows us to avoid the tough issues of life. We can let our partner manage money or decide how to discipline the kids. Being alone is a chance to "grow up" and function as an adult.

Bonding more closely with your children. Without a spouse or partner; your relationship with your children may become deeper and fuller Even so, expect adolescents to pull away and strive for independenceit's natural.

Here are some of the disadvantages of staying single:

Your children may lack another adult's perspective. Children of divorce still have two parents; however, one of the parents may be living and behaving like a child or adolescent. As a single father; you may wish for a woman in the home as a role model, especially for your daughter.

Living with loneliness and coping with depression alone. Let's face itchildren are no substitute for a life partner; nor are they intended to be. No matter how close you may become with your children, you will still feel alone. Different personalities respond differently to singlenessmost divorced singles admit that life is lonely, especially around major holidays. Yet be sure of this: Marrying again to avoid loneliness may not be the pathway to personal happiness you expect.

Welcome to your new lifestyle: poverty. Two incomes are higher than one: This is simple math. In most cases, the income gain from combining two households exceeds the rise in expenses. Single parents are thrifty by necessitythere's never enough money to do everything, go everywhere, and keep up with the ongoing demands of life.

Well-meaning friends may badger you with "help." Your friends mean well; they want you to be happy. That's why they constantly annoy you with advice, suggestions, and possible relationships they hope you'll explore. Just be your own person: Don't allow your friends, despite their good intentions, to take you places you're not ready to go, emotionally or relationally.


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